Outlander Chronicles: Phoenix - Introduction and Pitch

[5/21/2011 - I have resolved my display problems, and so am reposting this. Note that this post contains only the pitch. Chapter one appears in a separate post. Sorry about the foul-up.]

This is my second novel, and like my first, it remains unpublished. I am working on my final major re-write of Phoenix. At some point maybe I will share what I have learned about re-writing, but that's not for this post.  Joshua, my son, convinced me to do the rewrite and provided me with some good reasons to do so, as well as a few fresh ideas to try. Based on his critique, as well as several others, I felt like the story could be improved. Other than the fact that I am doing a re-write, Phoenix is finished and the complete tale has been read by probably ten to fifteen people. It weighs in at about 100,000 words, an appropriate word-count for a small-to-average sized novel.

What appears in the at the end of this post is called the pitch. It is used to entice literary agents to look further into the story--hopefully to request a full manuscript. If, after reading the manuscript, the agent believes the tale is one he can sell at a profit to a traditional publisher, he will represent the writer to various publishing houses. The agent does much of the work that writers used to have to do for a small slice of the eventual profit.

The pitch is designed to hook the reader. A well-written pitch is going to appear on the dust jacket of the published novel. If, after reading the pitch, you decide you'd like to have a go at reading the finished first chapter, you can find a link to chapter one at the bottom of thi post.
Several things to keep in mind:

• You are welcome to leave comments (please do), but unless someone finds a huge flaw, I won't be revisiting this chapter.
• I have chosen to write in an omniscient narrator's point of view (POV). Many don't like this POV; I do, and I don't plan on changing it.
• Those who have read the story know that it has numerous surprizing twists. Please do not leave any spoilers in your comments.
• The setting of the story is meant to be mysterious. In the original version, I revealed very slowly, through the words of Hakim, what had transpired to bring the world of the story into its present state of destruction. Based on critique I received, you are learning a lot more about this world much earlier in the story. I am still not convinced that is the best way to go, but it is one point I have conceded. The pitch itself lets the cat out of the bag. Somewhat, anyway.
• Before writing this story, I wrote a ten-page single-spaced timeline that begins in 2012 and goes to the date of the beginning of the tale (2120). The timeline constructs a detailed series of global events that changed the world as we know it, leading to the setting of Phoenix. After reading my timeline, Laurielle (the viola-playing marathoner - my youngest) recommended that I turn the timeline into a novel. If Phoenix ever goes anywhere, I will.

Here goes. . . .

Jacen Chester is living in a world where the unthinkable has happened. Eighty years prior, the use of biological weapons had resulted in a pandemic of hemorrhagic smallpox. Only the naturally-immune survived. The global population leveled out at a mere eight million. The situation has not improved.

Jacen's collapsing world is hemmed in by death. His mother is dead; his friends are dead; and now he must bury his father. As Jacen grieves, he realizes mere survival is no longer a cause large enough to sustain him. Out of the ashes of the old civilization he determines to found a new one. This is the premise of the Outlander Chronicles: Phoenix.

The young man encounters a wanderer with a mysterious past, named Hakim, who begins to teach him the arts of self-defense and leadership, and the history of the recent global disaster. Together they gather a small group of people who sign on to Jacen's vision of the future. The entire project is continuously threatened from within by Jacen and Hakim’s own sharp differences, and from without by ruthless groups who have chosen slavery or anarchy as the model for the future. The characters grapple with ultimate issues in a world where the margin of survival is too slender to permit mistakes. Catastrophe strikes the growing community, putting everything Jacen has learned to the test.

5/3/2012 - Outlander Chronicles: Phoenix has been published.