Discovering a fresh loss

When a loved one dies, it isn’t possible to immediately assess all that has been lost. Sometimes it takes years to realize all that I am missing when someone close passes away.

If that person is a Christian, you know you haven’t lost them—they’ve just been promoted to God’s presence, where one day you too will be if you know Christ as Savior. You’ve not lost them but you no longer have access to them, and all that they were and all that they did and all that they meant is has been pulled away from you and carried off. Relocated. Out of sight. For a time.

Certainly they left a blessed legacy, but they themselves are gone.

You can’t sit down and have a cup of coffee with a legacy. You can’t hug a legacy, or shake hands with a memory. The loss is real.

I discovered a fresh loss yesterday. Tom Perry was (is!) my brother-in-law. He was (is!) the husband of my wife’s identical twin, Diane. Tom went to be with Jesus on June 21^st of this year. It was unexpected—a shock.

Yesterday I sent out the first two chapters of my next book to my beta-readers. Tom was one of my beta-readers. He would read with a very positive, yet critical eye. Although he could pick out a typo readily, Tom wasn’t into grammar and syntax. He could spot stuff that didn’t belong. A character acting out of character. A plot point that stretched credibility.

And he could provide positive suggestions, nuances or scenes I hadn’t thought of. And he was always very encouraging. A great beta-reader. A great friend and brother-in-law.

I discovered a fresh loss yesterday. Yes, it is a selfish thing, my loss. Trivial in the overall scheme of things. Perhaps. But a loss, nonetheless.

“But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 4:13–14)

See you on the top, Steve!

I have a dear brother, the closest of friends, one of my original backpacking buddies, name of Steve Holtzclaw.

Early yesterday morning (3/13) he took his last climb. It was a climb on Mount Zion and he's with Jesus now.

You beat me to the top of the mountain this time, my brother. By the way, Steve, I will remind you: this is the only time you've beaten me to the top of the mountain.

Steve and Carol Holtzclaw and their family are the dearest of friends. Many moons ago (I might have even had hair - it's that long ago) Doris and I moved from central Virginia to Central Pennsylvania, where I became a teacher at Bible Baptist School in Shiremanstown. The very first Sunday we were at Bible Baptist Church, a friendly family invited us to their home for Sunday lunch. Delighted, we accepted.

We followed their car to their home. I figured it must be one of the families in the church, trying to make us feel welcome on our first Sunday. Actually, it was their very first Sunday at BBC, too; they had just moved into town from somewhere in the midwest, if I recall.

We all got a good laugh out of that. But that's just who Steve and Carol are. A fast friendship between our families developed. Steve and I are kindred spirits: we're both nuts. But more than that, we have Christ in common.

The Lord used Steve and Carol in our lives in significant ways. Repeatedly. One of my most cherished memories was when our little baby, Jessica, died shortly after birth. Steve and Carol showed up at the hospital. Within moments Steve had us laughing through our tears. That's just who they are.

I'm not sure I remember this correctly (Steve would say that there is a great deal I don't remember correctly), but I think that I had the pleasure of introducing Steve and Carol to backpacking. I used to take my students on backpacking Bible studies. The photos in this blog post are from a two-week trip in 1986. Steve is right over the "LA" in Loveland. Carol is on the extreme right. For those unbelievers of you who think I've never, ever been young, Chris and Doris are sitting on the base of the sign. Together. Ahem . . .  see the hair? Not hers! Mine!

Oh, the stories I could tell you about this trip! Oh, the stories Steve WOULD tell, if he was still here. Like when I was showing him the finer points of trout fishing and caught myself on the back of my parka with my own lure. I think that's the only thing he carried away from my lesson. At least, that's the only part he ever told anyone else.

We saw God move in amazing ways on this trip. He allowed me to make some major mistakes in order to show us His greatness. Take a look at the picture above: what do you see? Snow, right? Uh-huh. This is the end of June, for crying out loud. This is also Colorado high country. You don't plan high country trips until mid-July, unless you are planning on using snow shoes. Let me put it this way: the snow was hip-deep not five miles from our trail head. I learn the hard way.

Here's a peek at the first morning on the trail, only a mile from the trail head. No snow here, but just up the valley to the right . . . .

So, I've got fourteen people, for most of whom camping was a tent in the back yard, signed up for this fourteen day, cross-country, high-country trip and we can't even get to our first pass. In my defense, it was an unusually heavy winter, with unusually late snow. Now, that's the part Steve wouldn't mention when he was telling the story.

That mischievous grin?

It's not just for show.

Anyway, Steve and I hiked and hitchhiked to the nearest town (we had arranged wheels to drop us off at the trailhead but they'd already returned to Denver), and by the grace of God managed to salvage the trip, complete with transportation to a low-country site with fishing that was out of this world (it was the Flat Tops Wilderness Area). Those are the kinds of memories Steve and Carol and Doris and I shared.

Here's a few shots of the crew hiking to the Flat Tops (they really are flat, too! The tops, I mean.)

This was just one of many trips we took, and one of the many joys we shared.

Well, my brother, you got there first. Guess I'll have to admit it, much as it pains me. Carol, Kristin, Kristian: Doris' and my love and prayers are with you.

Love you, Steve. I'll miss you. See you on the top.

Return unto thy rest, O my soul; for the LORD hath dealt bountifully with thee.

For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears,
and my feet from falling.

I will walk before the LORD in the land of the living.

Psalm 116:7-9

Steve Holtzclaw (1951-2013)

You never know

Our hearts go out to broken-hearted families in Newtown, Connecticut. There are literally dozens of families who have lost loved ones, close relatives, and dear friends from this terrible tragedy. There are moms and dads, from whom have been robbed dear children.

The loss is staggering, and the aftermath will go on for a long, long time. Many will carry scars from this horrific event until the day they die. Some will not be able to cope.

The question "why?" will soon be explored in the national media. "Root causes" will be sought out. Undoubtedly a combination of reasons will found to explain why Adam Lanza, the alleged shooter, turned the elementary school into a shooting gallery. Maybe he was the victim of bullying. Perhaps he had a psychological disturbance. Some will blame the whole affair on the guns.

I'm quite sure there will be one root cause, the real root cause, that will not be explored in the media. Like the rest of us, Adam Lanza is a sinner. Like ours, his heart is deeply corrupted. Some people fight the evil within them. Some give in to it. Some feed and encourage it. But that deep-rooted, twisted hostility against God and His creatures exists in every human being.

As it is written: “There is no one righteous, not even one;
there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God.
All have turned away, they have together become worthless; 

there is no one who does good, not even one.”
“Their throats are open graves; their tongues practice deceit.”

“The poison of vipers is on their lips.”
“Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.”
“Their feet are swift to shed blood;
ruin and misery mark their ways,
and the way of peace they do not know.”
“There is no fear of God before their eyes.”

Romans 3:10-18 (NIV)

Every human will express his or her own corruption in different ways, but no person is exempt from it. Some will turn their destructiveness on themselves, some upon others, some both. There is an adversary who encourages the destruction. His name is Satan, and of him Jesus says, “The thief comes only to steal, and kill, and destroy; I came that they might have life, and might have it abundantly" (John 10:10).

Two thousand years ago, we turned our destructive rage upon Jesus, screaming, "Crucify Him! Crucify Him! Crucify Him!" And so we did. Not knowing that the Father had planned to redeem the world through the death of His Son, we poured out our hostility against God on His Son, and played right into God's plan of eternal redemption. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed (Isaiah 53:5).

The perfect Man died on the cross in the place of the sinners who nailed Him there, and on the cross He destroyed the bondage of sin, and through the resurrection He destroyed the power of death.There is but one solution to sin, one cure that can defang it, declaw it, and make it a toothless thing, powerless to destroy anymore, and that is faith in the death, burial and resurrection of Christ for my sins, in my place. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— (Ephesians 2:8)

Christmas is the point in the calendar when the church celebrates the incarnation of Christ, when He took upon Himself the form of man and was born as a helpless babe in a stable in Bethlehem. That birth provides as much hope today as it did then. Christ appeared to conquer death and sin. Jesus is the comfort for those who have lost little ones. He is the one Who gives the hope of eternal life. The solution for sin is imprinted into the nail scars in His hands and feet, and the scars left by the crown of thorns. See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands . . . (Isaiah 49:16)

For the religious these are comforting but empty sentimentalities. For true Christians, these are life-changing truths, these are the words of eternal life. For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. (1 Corinthians 1:18)

I am quite confident that the media will not discover the root cause. They'll probably want to throw more government at it. But I hope that the grieving moms and dads will somehow hear the message through their tears, and find comfort and peace in knowing that the Father lost His Son too, to a murderous crowd. He knows their grief and carries their sorrows. And I hope they will learn that He has, through that horrific death two thousand years ago, secured for them the sure and certain hope of eternal life, through faith in Christ. Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows. . . (Isaiah 53:4)

You never know when sin will emerge and display its raging destruction through an event like the school shooting in Connecticut. So kiss your kids on the way out the door tomorrow morning, but know that they are in the hands of God. Don't live in fear, live in the faith of the One who loved you and gave Himself for you.