Finally figured it out

Yes. This. This is who I am. This is what I do.

“Art of any lasting value honestly explores the profound enigma of the human condition and the questions that influence our lives and our destinies. This is the type of writing that honest authors strive to produce.

Rage against mediocrity.

Imbue your fiction with truth.

We are artists. We are writers—slightly neurotic and probably addicted to coffee, late nights, sunsets, laughter, tears, and heartache. Creativity is our drug. We lose ourselves in the smell of old books. We’re bewildered by how we can live in a world this full of glory and grief and not be awestruck by every moment. And we write stories to help wake people up before they fall asleep for good.”

[Steven James, Story Trumps Structure, p 244]