If only . . .

If only. . . .

Two words that often express a great deal of heartache.

• If only I had finished my degree. . . .
• If only he had not been driving so fast. . . .
• If only my child hadn't gone to school that day. . . .
• If only mom hadn't caught the flu. . . .
• If only I hadn't lost my job. . . .

Hindsight is twenty-twenty, as they say. How different would our lives be if we knew in advance the consequences of every decision?

But consider how wrong-headed that notion is. When we indulge ourselves in “if only” thinking we are behaving as if our lives, and history itself, progressed on the basis of some impersonal fate, a roll of the cosmic dice, rather than under the manifest control of a sovereign, good God.

This morning I was reading the last three chapters of Acts and it occurred to me that Paul had ample opportunity to engage in “if only” thinking after being jailed by the Romans:

• If only I had not agreed to join in that vow! (Acts 21:23-24)
• If only Felix had not been hoping for a bribe! (Acts 24:26)
• If only Felix had not been such a political animal! (Acts 24:27)
• If only I had not appealed to Caesar! (Acts 26:32)

As a consequence of these things, Paul spent over four years under arrest, and at least two of them in Roman prisons. He endured plots against his life, show trials, a terrifying storm at sea followed by a shipwreck, and numerous other problems. Paul's plans, ambitions—indeed, his life—was put on hold and forcibly redirected in ways he would not have chosen. If only. . . !

But Paul did not fall prey to this wistful, self-pitying sort of mindset. He shares with the Philippians his attitude about his troubles: Now I want you to know, brethren, that my circumstances have turned out for the greater progress of the gospel, so that my imprisonment in the cause of Christ has become well known throughout the whole praetorian guard and to everyone else, and that most of the brethren, trusting in the Lord because of my imprisonment, have far more courage to speak the word of God without fear. (Philippians 1:12-14, NASB)

Think about it: during Paul's missionary journeys he was constantly getting run out of town, beaten, jailed, mobbed by angry crowds, hauled before local officials under false accusation, etc. But from the time he was arrested in Acts 21, Paul was under the protection of the Roman empire. He was taken to Rome, and there, though under house arrest, was provided official protection while he freely preached the gospel to both Jews and Gentiles in the capital of the entire Roman Empire. Because of his arrest and incarceration, Paul had the opportunity to share the gospel with regional governors and officials. He was priviledged to testify at great length with the Roman centurians and the guards who guarded him. While on the isle of Melita, those same Romans witnessed Paul doing miracles of healing (Acts 28:8-9). In Rome, Paul presumably got the opportunity to testify to Caesar at his hearing. Paul enjoyed massive opportunities he would have never had if he hadn't been arrested by the Romans.

If only? Really? Maybe these heartaches, Christian, have come into your life “for the greater progress of the gospel.” Rather than being absorbed in regrets, start looking for the opportunities that God will provide in the very midst of your problems.