With you

A husband and wife are sitting in their car, traveling down the highway. They chat happily for a while, and then have a minor disagreement. Conversation stops, and she turns away from her husband and stares out her passenger-side window.

A mom, dad, and kids are sitting together around the table, playing a game. The son misbehaves, and becomes disruptive. He is sent to his room.

After 18 years of marriage, a husband and a wife divorce. They can't stand to live in the same house anymore.

Two neighbors who live side by side, have a disagreement. A week later one of them comes home to find the other erecting a fence between the two houses.

A child misbehaves in school, and is stood in the corner, his back to the class.

Two families with bad blood between them used to sit on opposite sides of the church, and never spoke. Recently, they reconciled. Now they sit together, and are planning to vacation together.

A daughter was estranged from her family and so moved to the other side of the country, as far away as she could get. She never called or wrote. Recently, her dad repented of sinning against her and sought her forgiveness, which she tearfully granted. She then repented of shutting out the whole family, and moved back into town. Now they are constantly visiting together, attending church together, celebrating Christmas together.

A man from Colorado and a woman from Iowa fall in love. They marry, and she leaves her home and friends to be with him.

What is the common feature in all these snapshots? You can probably identify several, but there is one in particular I want you to see. Now, don't get all profound on me, here, it's really quite simple.

In each case the state of the relationship is illustrated by the degree of separation, seen in orientation (the wife's back is to her husband as she looks out the window), location (the son is in his room separated from the family) or barriers (fence). When a relationship worsens, one or more of those factors increases as a consequence (increasing distance, representing increasing separation). When a relationship improves, one or more of those factors is reduced as a consequence (increasing proximity, or nearness, decreasing separation).

Now I know I have just stated the obvious, right? These are situations common to all of us, and we have probably thought about conflict and relationships enough already to have realized these things on our own. But please, bear with me, right now I am purchasing the ingredients--I have not started baking the cake yet.

We'll carry the thought further in a later post, because there is somewhere I'm going with it (look for posts entitled "With you" or look up posts having the label "Shuv"--to be explained later).

For the time being, think about how the events of Genesis 2 and 3 (the Garden of Eden story) illustrate the point mentioned above. If it's been awhile since you read those chapters, dig out your Bible and read 'em again, then think about how that story illustrates the point above about the state of the relationship.

And notice one more thing: in order for the state of affairs to improve in any of the scenarios above, one of the parties must "turn" or "return."